a month

its almost a month since you left..we've always been missing u..


the story begins after the bali trip.


my beloved kuku was admitted the General Hospital Kuala Lumpur.she was diagnosed with cervical cancer stage 3.

on the evening of the second day after she was admitted (wed) my sister and I visited her.we brought dinner for her to eat.she looked weak and pale.she had lost her appetite.it was heartbreaking to see her in that condition.


on the next day,mummy called me and asked me to go to the hospital to teman kuku as it was her first time doing dialysis.so i went there and i reached around 10.there were no parking!!ish!!!


anyway,after finding for a place to park,i went to the oncology department to see kuku,but she was not there.so the uncle infront told me that kuku was still doing her dialysis..it was so weird cos she went there since 7am,so the uncle asked me to go to the urology department and check on kuku.


well when i reached there,all those stupid "legs and handS" gave me wrong directions!stupid!

then finally i;ve found her,lying down there doing nothing.apparently she was there for few hours and those nurses said that they've called oncology department to take my kuku back to her room.walao!!kuku was so hungry and thirsty,so i went n asked the nurses several times!then after some time only there's ppl helping my kuku back.SERVICE-LIKE SHIT!



then she ate the whole pau that i bought,fruits and so on.i was glad to see her eating so much.but it was the worst day ever,kuku was bleeding so much,i was practically changing the sarong every hour..i didnt noe wat to do but prayed for her. Kor boy (cousin aka her son)was of cos very sumtong and sad when he saw what his mother was going through,but he was trying to be as strong as possible for his mum.

so i was there with her for the whole day till my cousin came,then till my sister came then till my mum came~:) i went back earlier with my mummy cos i was so tired~


mm..for ur information, my kuku is the type of woman who would keep everything to herself and not tell anyone,even when she's in pain.so she was so strong and capable in bearing all the pain that she was going through.

so on friday,raq went and took care of kuku,my dad went too.then in the evening,we brought food for her.my dad was tellling my aunt to eat because she has to be strong to go through chemotherapy n all.

then sat came.i wasnt there the whole day cos we (lydia and i) had to fetch my uncle and aunty from the bus station,they came down from johor.then we drove to the hospital.kuku was in the dialysis room,so we went there.we even bought goreng pisang cos she wanted to eat it.when we entered the room,i saw her struggling,in my mind,i tot that she was just refusing the treatment cos it was pain.i saw my parents and my cousin holding her.and we were asked to leave the room.so me lydia adelyn(her cucu) and my aunt waited outside.then my mum came out...running to find for the doctor,so i followed her(i didnt noe wat was going on) then suddenly everyone was so quient.

then my cousin came out.he cried..saying "mama mei you liao" the minute we all heard that,tears just kept flowing down.i was thinking y is it so fast?whywhy?

then my parents went n talked to the doctors.my parents and uncle went n just "sapu" the doctors and nurses.those male nurses,their attitude and services was sososo bad!

my aunt could not breath properly,therefore my cousin and parents kept asking them to give her oxygen.but then they said"oh oxygen jauh la...ada satu aje"! then my dad said" then bawa oxygen tank la!!" then they brought..and guess what??they didnt noe how to operate it!! and then they said they need to find the screwdriver!then they open one drawer at a time..and they couln't find..so they just went off!!!my kuku was suffocating and they didnt even bother!!! shit them!!!wat is this??!!!!

my parents scolded them,my mum said to the male nurses "engkau balik fikir!!hari ini,u telah bunuh seorang pesakit!!" btw..the male nurses can even laugh and walked slumber-ly after kuku died!!wtff!!!!!walao i was so mad!went infront n scolded them!!gosh!really feel like punching them on their shit faces! arrrgggh!!!

my cousin cried like there is no tommorrow..my mum and dad and sister called ppl around to ask about the burial stuff because he was too sad to handle all these.

we were lucky that my another kuku's husband's younger sister(aunty jenny)is working with nirvana,so she did everything for us.and becos we were relatives,we got upgraded to vvip room with the payment of a normal room.the services was very good.it was fast and we were all very comfortable.the chairs inside where ppl sit and wake were all like cinema chairs,then outside there's sofa and also ogawa massaging chairs for us to use.there were unlimited supply of coffee and tea and aunty jenny provided us with food.we had our own space and it was very good and comfortable..

it was a very "feng guang" ceremony!we had first class layanan and kuku had the best of all.

mmm...my cousin's wife told me that kuku kept saying that she wants to cook for me when she feels better because when i first got back,she cooked once for me and she knows that i love all of her food,so tat's y i thk she wanted to cook more for me~but she was not really well tat time when i came back.

my cousin recently told me that on the day of my arrival,kuku kept reminding korkor that i will be back by then and kept reminding him to go to the airport.

I felt so touched and sad because i didnt have enough time to spend with her.I want her to be here longer!i really miss her alot.after her death,whenever i do something that has any kaitan with her,i will think of her..whenever i passed by her house,i will feel the lost.it really saddens me whenever i think that she is no longer here with us.but lydia always said that we will meet her one day,oh did i tell u guys the good news?she accepted christ long before she knew that she entered hospital..we were all very suprised with the news!someone shared the gospel with her.Its amazing to noe that she is with God now!btw..He had assured that she is with him many times when we prayed and asked Him.:)

her departure is also good because she wont need to suffer so much.she said that she would want to die beutifully and peacefully.Godlove her so much that He didnt want her to suffer anymore.

we are all trying to think on the positive side!its okie to cry sometimes because we know that we misses her..all i can say now is that kuku..rest in peace!i noe u are in peace now!so just chill till the day we meet up with u k?

We will always pray for korkor and family.")

we will always be there for each other~:)